I’ve been asked if I’ve found parenthood harder than I
thought it would be, mostly I would say no, because I anticipated the night
feeds, the dozen nappy changes a day, the eating cold food because I don’t get
a spare minute to myself yet etc. What I am truly finding hard is the constant
worry.
I’ve always been a brave person, I’m not scared of much.
Suddenly I am terrified of everything. I’m scared to sleep or leave the room in
case my baby stops breathing. I’m scared to take him outside in case an insect
stings him, or a person coughs germs on him. I’m scared of pushing the pram by
main roads, (I live in the city so practically every road is a busy one). My
stress levels are through the roof, I just want to put myself and my baby in a
world proof safety bubble and keep us there, forever!
Are all new moms this neurotic? I know I am paranoid and that
I sound like the typical over anxious and irrational mom but I can’t help it. It’s
only the beginning, I know deep down that no matter how much I force myself out
and about with my baby, and how many times I calm myself down, I’ll be worrying
about him for the rest of my life. It goes with the territory I suppose.
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