As if changing eight nappies a day wasn't enough, every time I change Lincolns nappy his little winky goes shooting around left, right, up in the air whizzing wee over me, over himself, up the wall. 8am, half asleep from being up in the night, and he whizzes a tremendous arch of piss, which pools on the waterproof changing mat and promptly runs up so my boy is lying in a puddle of urine, its soaked his clothes and all the back of his hair. Great!
So we have to get him stripped off and wash all his back and hair, and re-clothe him.
And he'll poop and wait until I've cleaned him up and changed his nappy and re-clothed him before deciding "I'm going to poop again" with a huge loud windpipe noise, I can't believe it, over and over again.
How about the time he'd pooped in his nappy and as I was changing him, he wrestled his leg out of my grip and planted his foot right in his dirty nappy. Awesome kid, just awesome, now the shit's all up his leg and in his toes. Another wash required!
Best to date, is I'd just cleaned up poop, and I was putting the new nappy underneath his bottom when he farted like a trooper and boom, a jet of mustard yellow poop comes splattering all over my hand, up my arm, all over the changing mat, its literally everywhere. I was holding his wriggling feet with my clean hand and trying to sort out the horrific mess with my pooped on hand. Urgh!
I've had my PJ's whizzed on and I've found too much nappy cream makes his nappy leak when he whizzes so his bed linen has gotten soaked and his sleepsuits. Note to new moms: You can never have enough cot sheets, blankets, vests and sleepsuits. Everything else is secondary. Have plenty of these items in stock. Our washing machine is constantly on!
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